ON TIMIDITY

The timid must be encouraged to do even the obvious. Somehow the assurance of others comforts them. They know what to do but are afraid to do it, prevented perhaps by a fear of failure or dark memories of a demanding parent. Even so, their unwillingness to do the obvious makes them unlikely to do the impossible.

DOES IT REALLY MATTER

When at work I'm aware that I'm not doing anything. I mingle with coworkers and carryout management concerns, but still feel that nothing is being accomplished. I cash my check and complete my responsibilities, but still, I'm doing nothing. The people are pleasant, the facilities decent, yet I'm not doing anything. Even the conversations corrupt. Most are so empty that they leave me angry. I watch people work and wonder, "Why are we here?"

I'm grateful for the work but still don't believe that I am doing anything. The moment I exit my car and enter the building I'm immediately reminded of my idleness. By nine o'clock I'm clueless. Then I become distant and dysfunctional, walking in circles and talking out of sequence. My thoughts become antagonistic to the environment. My only remedy for this malady is solitude, without which I would explode. During these times, I go inside myself for sustenance. Afterwards I emerge refreshed, revived and committed to leaving. (9/6/00)

TODAY

Some day never arrives if we fail to use today.

I'm sitting at work watching people doing nothing. What a waste! Some are checking emails and others are being blackmailed. Time is the ransom they pay for neglecting their talent. Instead, they play and complain about their circumstances. Who cares! It's up to the person not the employer to improve himself. Jobs aren't designed to satisfy our quest for growth or yearning for greatness. Most only require a partial commitment. Growth begins, however, when we commit. Until then we play, pretend, and squander our potential in narrow places.

SMALL TALK

The breeze that blows on others doesn't cool us.

I'm tired of hearing my coworkers rehearse other people's success. It's as if they don't have dreams of their own to accomplish. Why? How does praising Tiger prosper them? It doesn't! But at work that's all people do. They'll waste half a day and most of life lauding others. Doing so is okay occasionally. We all need the diversion that others provide. But after awhile it's abnormal, annoying for me.

I don't care how well others are doing when my own life lags. I can't spend their money or respect. I must earn my own. But if I don't set goals I'll fail. I bet these achievers didn't succeed by surveying other people's lives. Instead they set concrete goals and took deliberate steps toward their dreams. They knew that time was too short and life too uncertain to procrastinate. These are the people I admire --dreamers who do-- not cowards who talk. (9/5/00)

THE CLOCK

Get up, now, and do something!

I'm sitting in a room listening to people talk on the phone. How boring! Most are inadequately trained and the others are professionally unsuitable. But that doesn't matter because they need to work, and the company needs the workers. So, the madness will continue; if not here and now, then elsewhere with others. I guess work is the penalty we pay for ignoring our passion. (9/5/00)

WORK, WHY? THE ANATOMY OF GREATNESS

Welcome to A Dreamer's Diary! This blog is dedicated to the disgruntled dreamer inside all of us. Thus it chronicles my evolution (and anguish), as I sought to pursue my dream of becoming a writer after I left my job with Dun & Bradstreet. Each post will portray some element of its difficulty, beginning with my disgruntlement and the subsequent decision and consequences. More than that, my goal is to comfort and accompany you as you strive to accomplish your own evolution. Yes, the economy's terrible and things are tight. But something about dreams refuses to wait. So, if you're ready for the journey, here's my journal to encourage you along.*

*These were compiled into a book in October 2000 entitled, Work, Why? Diary of a Dreamer(The Anatomy of Greatness).

http://www.joelbryant1.com/
http://joel-thevoiceofgreatness.blogspot.com/

FROM THE AUTHOR

Once I decided to write this book my frustration with work became fertile. Incidents that routinely annoyed suddenly inspired. Heeding the popular proverb, I decided to make lemonade with my lemon, which is what my job represented. So, rather than venting vainly I decided to record my anguish on these pages. Things that I usually said in passing would now be compiled for publication. Doing so made sense but I couldn't see it before. I was complaining anyway, so why not write? Why not compose my complaints and put them into print.

This book blossomed from my efforts. It differs from the philosophical stuff I normally write. At least I sought to make it so. I wanted these words to be a narrative, ranting revelations of insanity. So, I have restricted but not revoked my philosophical license. I have also struggled to be honest. Yet I am not always as disgruntled as I appear. I am by nature intense. I expect greatness of myself and of others.

Moreover, while writing I found myself wanting to be fired. I imagined casually leaving some of the more pungent pieces on my desk in hopes that my boss would see them. He would, inevitably, call me into his office for an explanation. I, of course, would have none, nor would I seek one. Like the kleptomaniac, I too wanted to be caught. But I never got fired because I couldn't convince myself to display these pages prematurely. Discretion discouraged this folly.

So here I stand for all to see (and censure). But that's okay, because I've reconciled the present and now embrace the future. In it, I will be released from work and pulled into my purpose. I will no longer let bills bully my talent. After all, if I don't fulfill my vision I'll spend my life fulfilling someone else's.