DOES IT REALLY MATTER

When at work I'm aware that I'm not doing anything. I mingle with coworkers and carryout management concerns, but still feel that nothing is being accomplished. I cash my check and complete my responsibilities, but still, I'm doing nothing. The people are pleasant, the facilities decent, yet I'm not doing anything. Even the conversations corrupt. Most are so empty that they leave me angry. I watch people work and wonder, "Why are we here?"

I'm grateful for the work but still don't believe that I am doing anything. The moment I exit my car and enter the building I'm immediately reminded of my idleness. By nine o'clock I'm clueless. Then I become distant and dysfunctional, walking in circles and talking out of sequence. My thoughts become antagonistic to the environment. My only remedy for this malady is solitude, without which I would explode. During these times, I go inside myself for sustenance. Afterwards I emerge refreshed, revived and committed to leaving. (9/6/00)

TODAY

Some day never arrives if we fail to use today.

I'm sitting at work watching people doing nothing. What a waste! Some are checking emails and others are being blackmailed. Time is the ransom they pay for neglecting their talent. Instead, they play and complain about their circumstances. Who cares! It's up to the person not the employer to improve himself. Jobs aren't designed to satisfy our quest for growth or yearning for greatness. Most only require a partial commitment. Growth begins, however, when we commit. Until then we play, pretend, and squander our potential in narrow places.

SMALL TALK

The breeze that blows on others doesn't cool us.

I'm tired of hearing my coworkers rehearse other people's success. It's as if they don't have dreams of their own to accomplish. Why? How does praising Tiger prosper them? It doesn't! But at work that's all people do. They'll waste half a day and most of life lauding others. Doing so is okay occasionally. We all need the diversion that others provide. But after awhile it's abnormal, annoying for me.

I don't care how well others are doing when my own life lags. I can't spend their money or respect. I must earn my own. But if I don't set goals I'll fail. I bet these achievers didn't succeed by surveying other people's lives. Instead they set concrete goals and took deliberate steps toward their dreams. They knew that time was too short and life too uncertain to procrastinate. These are the people I admire --dreamers who do-- not cowards who talk. (9/5/00)

THE CLOCK

Get up, now, and do something!

I'm sitting in a room listening to people talk on the phone. How boring! Most are inadequately trained and the others are professionally unsuitable. But that doesn't matter because they need to work, and the company needs the workers. So, the madness will continue; if not here and now, then elsewhere with others. I guess work is the penalty we pay for ignoring our passion. (9/5/00)

WORK, WHY? THE ANATOMY OF GREATNESS

Welcome to A Dreamer's Diary! This blog is dedicated to the disgruntled dreamer inside all of us. Thus it chronicles my evolution (and anguish), as I sought to pursue my dream of becoming a writer after I left my job with Dun & Bradstreet. Each post will portray some element of its difficulty, beginning with my disgruntlement and the subsequent decision and consequences. More than that, my goal is to comfort and accompany you as you strive to accomplish your own evolution. Yes, the economy's terrible and things are tight. But something about dreams refuses to wait. So, if you're ready for the journey, here's my journal to encourage you along.*

*These were compiled into a book in October 2000 entitled, Work, Why? Diary of a Dreamer(The Anatomy of Greatness).

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